Monday, 16 March 2009

  • Watchmen Movie (Yes, Spoilers)

    I haven't read any Alan Moore comics besides Watchmen, so I cannot comment on his life's work. I can say that Watchmen is honest, that besides a couple of larger-than-life relishes it has a voice grounded in reality. I do not doubt that it was genre-breaking when it first came out. It is poetic, philosophical, and slightly raw. But I never warmed up to the ending. Ozymandias' plan exposes him not as the smartest man in the world, but as the most short-sighted sociopath in the world. That's all fine and well, but to have all of the other heroes (except one) yield to him as easily as they do points to the then 34 year old Moore as a slightly cynical (and perhaps wee bit short-sighted sociopathic) writer. I mean honestly, even without Rorschach's journal how long could they expect peace to last - 10 years, 15 years? It wouldn't take very long before the nations of Earth ask, so when the hell are the aliens going to attack? What then? Does Ozymandias commit another genocide to keep the fear going? It should only take the other heroes ten minutes to come to this conclusion and expose him. If Adrian's goal is to unite the world, then unite the world against him. Wage war on the frigid plains of Antarctica, and unleash nukes on the uninhabitable wasteland. That would be a smarter plan, and kill far fewer people over a longer timeline.

    This is why I prefer Snyder's ending for the Watchmen movie. Dr. Manhattan is a real "threat". The fact that he implicitly takes responsibility for the millions who die makes the the threat significant. The premise is still flawed, but at least with a real face put on it, Ozymandias' peace has a chance to last longer than the initial hysteria. I enjoy the movie, I think it is physically as close to the comic book as a live-action movie can get. In fact, it is so close that it pretty much alienates the American movie-goer public, what with the movie being a convoluted action-drama that is way too long and try to do way too much. It's fairly obvious the editing team knew this, and they compensated by strategically placing over-the-top gratuitous violence & sex in twenty minute intervals throughout the movie. Don't get me wrong, it is enjoyable. But since the story is lifted page by page from a comic book, the conversion to a new medium makes it an awkward red-headed stepchild of cinema. If you have not read the comic book, it is best if you just pretend the film is a glorious montage of action and copulation with slightly campy dialogue. And ignore the ending because no, it makes no sense.

    That being said, I am sad to point out that Snyder and team did not "get" the Watchmen. The story is about ordinary people putting themselves in impossible situations and failing because of their very human limitations. It is a celebration of the vulnerabilities of human life, of learning, loving, tragedy, and acceptance. This story has more in common with Shindler's List than it does with 300. But in their flawed vision, Snyder, Hayter and Tze lifts the characters up from their mortal place in the comic book up to a larger than life position to (ironically) fit the mold of the stereotypical superhero. Seriously - the Night Owl punching bone out of an arm? That is so excessive.

    And what the hell is up with Patrick Wilson toward the end of the movie? I know he was close with the writers but to write him into Rorschach's death with an over-the-top Darth Vader "No!!!!!"? It took away so much from the poetry of the death. It made me lol in what should've been the sombre and symbolic death of Justice.

    To sum it all up, if you haven't read the graphic novel, go see it because it's action packed and no worse than Schwarzenegger films. And if you find yourself curious about the comic book afterwards, go read it. You'll thank me. If you have read the graphic novel, go see it because it will stroke your fanboy/fangirl epeen to full mass. And if you're Alan Moore, well you were right; it's better that you stay away from it.



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